Gift giving is a love language – and in BDSM it’s also a common practice between play partners. Just like in vanilla relationships, a gift can be symbolic of your relationship and a way to show your affection to your partner. The following guide will cover some of the most common gifts to give to your dominant/submissive partner.
Gifts For Your Dominant
You may want to find a gift for your dom that shows your dedication and affection. After all, they protect and tend to your needs. So it’s only natural that you want to return the favor. While they invent new scenarios for you and fulfill your kink needs, a dom also has their own needs.
- A Toy They’ll Love to Play With
Giving your dom a toy you know that they will love to use on you is a great way to introduce something new into your relationship and show your appreciation. Whether they love a little pain and would get a lot of enjoyment of something like glass jacks to use with rope or they would love the idea of teasing you in public with a remote controlled vibrator.
A toy with a thoughtful note shows your appreciation and invites more play between you – so it’s hard to go wrong!
- A Massage/Spa Package
Being a dom can be a lot of work. You are looking out for someone else’s well being and doing a lot of the heavy lifting (sometimes literally!) whether they tie you up on a regular basis or you are in a more 24/7 relationship where they are dominant over you most of the time. It can be easy for your dominant to not focus on themselves enough – so a gift like a massage package or a spa day can make sure that they are getting the self care they need as well.
- An Aftercare Kit
Aftercare is not just for subs! After intense play everyone can use a little pick-me-up. Talk with your dom about what they want most after an intense playtime, as everyone has their own preferences. Whether they like to have some time to themselves to read a book or just cool off, or they want your affection and reassurance.
Once you know what they want after play, you can build an aftercare kit for them with some of their favorite things or get one from us. Gifting an aftercare kit can also help you build a ritual in your relationship that helps you wind down from more intense activities. Whether you end up enjoying a cup of Bottega Nera’s exclusive Aftercare tea or you give them a bottle of their favorite whiskey and some body care products to help with their aching muscles.
Gifts for Your Submissive
Gift giving to submissives can be highly symbolic, and also be part of your D/s (dominant/submissive) relationship. Whether you like to dress your submissive up as a doll or you want to symbolize your relationship with the right piece of jewelry, there are many ways to show your appreciation to the person who places their trust in you as your submissive.
A collar is one of the most symbolic and commonly gifted items in D/s relationships. Some people consider a collar as important as a wedding ring – so you should give this carefully with negotiation beforehand about what it means to your relationship! There are many collar types to choose from. Some are much more overt like a dog collar or a locking steel collar, and there are also much more subtle options that look more like a necklace.
A well-made collar can be the symbol of your love to each other that you can wear proudly in and out of the dungeon. It’s also one of the most common gives from a dominant to a submissive.
A beautiful set of lingerie is a gift that will make almost any submissive swoon. Not only do they get something that many women and men absolutely love, they get to wear it out to kink parties or in bed with you. Lingerie is also excellent because as a dominant you can choose something that appeals to you and shows your submissive in the best light, accentuating what you love about their bodies.
Sub-drop can be a serious issue for BDSM play. Sub drop is a dip in hormones after intense play that can cause almost “hangover” symptoms – like tiredness, depression, and also the physical symptoms like bruises and sore muscles. Having an aftercare routine that works for both of you is critical to care for other people when practicing BDSM. Gifting an aftercare kit to your submissive shows that you care about their well-being and gives them a set of tools that they can use to help reduce any uncomfortable feelings after play – which is a great benefit to you as well, because they will want to play more if they don’t feel bad after each session!
If you’re not sure exactly what your partner will like or you’re building out your own toy box a gift box from Bottega Nera is an excellent option for a gift. Our gift sets include everything that you need to create your own bdsm scenes. Having a set of toys exclusively for your relationship is another beautiful symbol of the affection between you and your submissive.